So, when I got this ring put on my finger and had to answer the question, "So, when are ya getting married?", I thought 'okay no biggy' ... OH but it's a Big Biggy!! Not only did I choose a date that is right around the corner, I also, have no idea on what to plan or how much it will cost!! The only thing I can think of is picking out that beautiful white dress and trust me I want it to be gorgeous!
Where do I start? What has to be done? More importantly... Am I Ready? Am I ready to full heartedly comitt to this one guy or any guy for that matter, for the rest of my life? Am I ready for the responsibilities and everything else which I don't even know about? Heart says, "I don't know... no i don't think so... and just screams for help through quiet depression..."
My parents don't know anything and feel out of the 'loop' called my life. Unintentional I promise. However, I am trying so hard to fight and figure out why my selfish, solo, personality is getting in the way of committing to love aka true happiness.
I love Johnny. I really do, however, there are times when I feel I would just be happier if I was by myself without anyone to answer to, worry about, or change my life for. It's hard being away from my family. I am still scared of the world and still feel the need to run home and cry on my mother's shoulder when my feelings get hurt or the world gives me a hard time. I will always be daddy's little girl too. I appreciate all the time he spent with me teaching me lessons I still apply to everyday life. My parents are my heroes and my sisters are my sidekicks! I love and miss them so much.
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Oh, Adrian. Why do we all have to grow up sometime? I will never understand why we fell so compelled to leave our childish ways and become adults. Life is much simpler as a kid.... Here's some advice for you. Don't get married till you're sure that's what you want to do and you're sure you're ready to. Trust me on this. I wasn't ready to get married and the first several years were Hell. You don't want that. Wait till you know what you want. Love you, Kid!
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