Thursday, April 22, 2010
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
There are different people in my life who believe differently. I see how they look at life and know what things are important to them. I respect that and hope they respect how I see things through my eyes. With beautiful stars in my eyes, I will always use them to drive my determination and have the life I always used to dream about when I was a little girl.
The song by fergie called Lables or Love is kinda how I used to feel. I replaced people with shopping and spent most of my time and money at the mall. I have changed that in the past couple years and plan on working out my human relations and not my debit card. I have cut back and feel confident knowing I have friends and loved ones in my life. They truly helped me realize whats also important however I still feel like fashion is top on my list.
Glamour is fashion's best friend and my lover. I love feeling glamorous and perky. Happiness goes hand in hand with that feeling and I definitely feel it almost everyday. I just recently broke one of my biggest habits. I no longer bite on or tear my nails off everytime I get bored or nervous. They are so long and beautiful now and everyone is always asking me for a back scratch. lol :) My legs need a lot more work since I still have scars on them from my junior year of high school. Thank goodness there are ways to get rid of those. I am growing my hair out and if anyone suggests that I should cut my hair I will cry. Did it once for me and one other person and I will never go through that again. I have also started to use a little more makeup like eyeliners and different color shadows that look very nice.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Johnny and I haven't been getting along as best as we could be so we split. Not like the banana dessert or the kind where you get up and walk away from the last eighteen months you just spent with that person.
This kind of a split is the one that leaves you wondering why. Why did we have those arguments? Why didn't we care or take the time to understand? I just can't get up and walk away from the one who made me happy and laugh. Or the guy who I've been with the longest. That sort of thing stays with you. especially since he's the only one I've been engaged to.
What's life like now? Should I focus on only myself? Something I haven't done in a while. Every little thing I do reminds me of him. So do I try to do different things? What is the cure? Is there a cure? All that Johnny once promised is now gone. erased and will start again from the very beginning. But what about me? I want to pass Go and collect my $200.00 so I can gain what I need! I need a car, stronger ties to my friends, special bond with my family, go back to school, make enough to get out on my own, and I need to stay happy and calm through all that!!!!! Is that even possible????? Well, we shall find out soon enough.
Never loose your sense of wonder and always keep your doors open. Help others and in return you may find yourself receiving help. Faith is to believe in that which we cannot see. Touch with not only your hands but your mind and heart. Smell all the surprises waiting around the corner so you won't be taken off guard. Wish selflessly. Hope in all charitable things. Taste the rainbow. lol I love that one. And most of all, Always keep your heart open. If you do that, love will always find it's way in.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Where do I start? What has to be done? More importantly... Am I Ready? Am I ready to full heartedly comitt to this one guy or any guy for that matter, for the rest of my life? Am I ready for the responsibilities and everything else which I don't even know about? Heart says, "I don't know... no i don't think so... and just screams for help through quiet depression..."
My parents don't know anything and feel out of the 'loop' called my life. Unintentional I promise. However, I am trying so hard to fight and figure out why my selfish, solo, personality is getting in the way of committing to love aka true happiness.
I love Johnny. I really do, however, there are times when I feel I would just be happier if I was by myself without anyone to answer to, worry about, or change my life for. It's hard being away from my family. I am still scared of the world and still feel the need to run home and cry on my mother's shoulder when my feelings get hurt or the world gives me a hard time. I will always be daddy's little girl too. I appreciate all the time he spent with me teaching me lessons I still apply to everyday life. My parents are my heroes and my sisters are my sidekicks! I love and miss them so much.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Roses have thorns, so does life. Some people like to describe it as a roller coaster, however, i save that to describe something else. I'm in a healthy relationship, the beginning of a good job, and will go back to school soon. I am going to major in psychology. So, if you ever need that help, look me up! :)
There are people I miss and wish I could spend more time with. One being my dad. I am looking forward to the weekend in the woods with him and his siblings. I see it as a chance to bond with them and really get to know my dad and his interests. Being Scottish is awesome and that is definitely something I wish I knew more about. When I was younger, I remember telling my parents I wanted to learn how to play the bag pipes! :)
Johnny is Irish and the names we have come up with for our future children are awesome!
Now, I know to protect the names I have come up with and will share them only after they are placed on a birth certificate. :)
The second night I spent with Johnny, he surprised me at my work with a single pink rose. I dried and saved it hoping it will last me a lifetime. Our one year anniversary is coming up and I've already dropped hints on the flowers I hope to receive.
The mind works in mysterious ways when it comes to thinking about anniversary gifts. The gift idea I received was so sudden and pure genius! I can't wait to get started on it next week. I'm hoping it won't take long to complete.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Well, my day of being on top of the world was yesterday. I got the job, my new hire packet, and my schedule all figured out! 3 Cheers!!!
So I begin orientation on Monday at one pm. Pat, johnny's mom, comes home Monday at four pm, and my last work week at NYC begins and ends Saturday!! Yay!!
Melissa is so nice and I can't wait to start working my real shift at Express care on Monday the 22nd.
"It's like a dream come true!"
"A dream is a wish your heart makes when you're fast asleep."
And I'll live happily ever after!